Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Coming Out As Straight

"On the whole, society is more comfortable seeing an image of two men holding guns than they are with the image of two men holding hands"

"So when did you come out?" 

One of the most common questions that is asked to homosexual individuals. 

"When did you announce you were straight?" 

Is never asked to any heterosexual individual. 


One thing that I think every homosexual individual struggles with is the idea of announcing or confirming that they are gay. Personally, I spent years of my life crippled under the weight of fear/embarrassment/the unknown because I was afraid to be proud of who I was.  Then there came a point of my life where I was sick of hiding, sick of pretending and sick of lying to everyone including myself, So i decided to come out. 

But what a waste. What a waste of many years of my life terrified of being something that I couldn't help. I  refuse to live with regrets in my life because I think to regret something is to only punish yourself. However I look back at that time of my life with pity. 

In some ways I pity myself because I hate the fact that I crumbled to the social pressure and did actually come out. I wish i didn't have too and I could've just lived my life as normal without this thing constantly weighing over my head. But more so pity for what society dictates to people. 

If society was more socially accepting of homosexuality, then we wouldn't be forced to come out. 

I think the whole idea of "coming out" is what is wrong with the world at the moment. When you look at the phrase "coming out the closet" it implies that someone is hiding away from the rest of the world and they finally find the courage to be who they were born to be. I think this is utterly ridiculous. 
Why is it that anybody should feel ashamed enough about the way they were born that they feel the need to hide it from everyone? 

Not only this, but why is it that straight people never have to "come out as straight". See even that concept seem ludicrous. So why is that almost expected of homosexuals? 

Something I admire in some gay people is when they say "I never came out because I was just myself and people knew". I wish I had been like this. Yes, so many people have said "we always knew" and that's great you can have a sticker for that, but I always knew you were straight and I never had to force that opinion on you. 

It frustrates me so much that we have to almost jump through a hoop like a show dog and bow down to what society dictates to us. 

You come out = You're gay. 
You don't come out = Everyone will assume something is off or wrong with you until they pluck up the courage to ask you and you either confirm of deny it. 

I just don't understand why as homosexuals we have to announce it.  Why do I have to come out? Why can't it just be accepted? If heterosexuals don't have to state what they are, why should I? 

And don't get me wrong, I understand there is still a lot of complications around the view of homosexuality in the world and in peoples homes. Which is part of the reason why people are ashamed of it. But I just think it is disgusting that we live in a world where a certain fraction of our society have to announce something they can't change.

You don't have a "coming out as white/black/mixed race/Japanese/Chinese/Spanish/French" stage.
You don't "come out as being blonde haired"
You don't "come out as being 6 feet tall" 
And most certainly you never "come out as being straight"

Because all of these things, are traits people are born with, traits that are unchangeable. 

Which is the same for homosexuality.
So why do we have to come out? 

The sooner society accepts it as a "norm" the sooner this façade of coming out will be eradicated.